IS SHE FOR REAL???

It’s a little after 4am. I wake up because I hear my daughter softly crying. I hear her voice and the sobs and the sadness. This is just me again not being able to sleep. It comes because of the cruelness of a woman (gag) that is my daughter’s mother (retching vomit). What I witnessed last night I have no words to explain with any emotion that can be put into words. I fathered a child by a woman who is brutallizing my daughter. I had no idea this could ever happen, no idea this “mother” had the capacity to act in such a manner as to render a child helpless into a heap of lifeless matter. The facts are simple enough: I texted my daughter and then quite by accident (maybe) my daughter’s phone calls my phone. On the other end I hear my daughter crying. I didn’t immediately know she had not intentionally called me, because she had occasionally called me when upset and crying. Now I hear another voice, it is her mother. My ex-wife is very calmly and directly telling my daughter in German how bad her father (me) is. I get a sense that she wanted to call me and was not being allowed to. I sense that because her mother said to her “you cannot call your father whenever you feel….” the words trail off because my daughter is crying. You also makes other statements, “Your father doesn’t need you because he thinks it’s more important to be with his friends, he likes to go to bike rallies instead of being with you, he doesn’t care about you, he only cares about himself… on and on”. I am mortified and I scream intor the phone for my daughter, my heart is splitting hearing her crying and her mother on a soft and controlled demonic tirade about how bad I am. Tell me justice system, how are you going to fix this now? Are you going to again hand over my child to be emotionally abused by a sad excuse of a parent? I am reeling in despair, what to do? How to do something fast and permanent? What is the solution? I go from thinking my children need two parents, to asking myself do they deserve to be brow beaten by a mother who has little to offer as a mother? Tell me legal system when will you finally do the right thing?

Is there an end to the games she plays?

I wonder if she really understands, what is her motive? I wonder if she understands anything at all. I want to scream in her ear, or EARS if it helps more, until she hears the nonsense she doesn’t say! Over a month now since I have been able to hug my daughter, to see her eyes and one-of-a-kind smile. Even longer since I have given my son a high five and listened to his “rants” on the state of our govenment, to have his presence and know that even our distance never keeps us apart. Ex-wives are frustratingly ignorant women and lack a capacity to know what to give in life. They are takers, users of people, greedy and self absorbed. They ask for and get a divorce and then want more. Why a woman pretends to be self-sufficient is beyond me. They can’t really take care of themselves, they are complainers with no sense of life direction unless they are being given their means. Again I am needing to go through a dysfunctional legal system to fight to have a life with my children. I have to grudgingly fight an ex-wife one who cannot see through her irrational needs and her attempts to manipulate everything for her sense of “justice”. Somehow for some reason she wants me to “pay” because for her lack of judgement; a decision she made to divorce is back-firing hmmm, and the damned grass wasn’t greener. She listened to her shit-house lawyer friends about how she could make her life better and now she smells the essence of her life. Smells like compost I bet.

I really did know they wouldn’t come over.

Well on friday I waited for my children to come over for their visit, anxious, just as I knew I would be. 5:45 came and I hoped that at 6pm (the legal ETA,estimated time of arrival) or shortly there-after I would see them pull in the drive-way. Not at s6 not at 6:15, not at all. I wasn’t surprised, but I was more disappointed than I thought I would be. I had texted the EX and asked where they were? “they don’t want to come over” was her reply. My hope is that this doesn’t happen with frequency to other fathers. The sheriff’s department said it happens a lot. Why, when the evidence supports children needing two parents, does one parent always play the deviant god? I stayed home watched news over and over and fell asleep.

Saturday took a trip to Ocoee and Hiwasee rivers near Benton, TN. Went to look at potential hang gliding fly station. No active hang gliding going on, but the trip was wholesome and will be returning for future fun. I don’t know how but I will have to get my kids and probably have to do it through the broken legal system with crotchedy old judges who have been around too long, and lawyers who do little for the money they steal, yes STEAL from everyone’s pocket. I can say that because I have rarely met an attorney who does his job with the integrity one would expect with the fees they charge. So if ANYONE knows a moral attorney, prove me wrong. I REALLY want to find that gem.

Today the day of reckoning… in a way

Today is the day (again) that my two kids visit. I look forward every week to that short span of time I get to call mine. Each Friday (usually) I will legally get them for either a visit for the evening and night or I will get them for the weekend. These Fridays, I await with anxiety, always. You see, I cannot know if I will get them or not. It matters not that legally I should. My ex believes that for whatever reason she has devised in her mind, that I am to be persecuted for her decision to divorce me. Yes, she divorced me, yet somehow she believes I do not have a right to a visit each week. I believe I have a right to visit every day. Afterall, I did get that when we lived to gether. I was able every morning to wake them and every night kiss them as they lay down their heads, and I miss that…my heart and soul misses that. For now I will be waiting for 6pm to see if they are with me for the weekend.

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Looking to the day when it becomes the past!