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September 7, 2011

It’s a little after 4am. I wake up because I hear my daughter softly crying. I hear her voice and the sobs and the sadness. This is just me again not being able to sleep. It comes because of the cruelness of a woman (gag) that is my daughter’s mother (retching vomit). What I witnessed last night I have no words to explain with any emotion that can be put into words. I fathered a child by a woman who is brutallizing my daughter. I had no idea this could ever happen, no idea this “mother” had the capacity to act in such a manner as to render a child helpless into a heap of lifeless matter. The facts are simple enough: I texted my daughter and then quite by accident (maybe) my daughter’s phone calls my phone. On the other end I hear my daughter crying. I didn’t immediately know she had not intentionally called me, because she had occasionally called me when upset and crying. Now I hear another voice, it is her mother. My ex-wife is very calmly and directly telling my daughter in German how bad her father (me) is. I get a sense that she wanted to call me and was not being allowed to. I sense that because her mother said to her “you cannot call your father whenever you feel….” the words trail off because my daughter is crying. You also makes other statements, “Your father doesn’t need you because he thinks it’s more important to be with his friends, he likes to go to bike rallies instead of being with you, he doesn’t care about you, he only cares about himself… on and on”. I am mortified and I scream intor the phone for my daughter, my heart is splitting hearing her crying and her mother on a soft and controlled demonic tirade about how bad I am. Tell me justice system, how are you going to fix this now? Are you going to again hand over my child to be emotionally abused by a sad excuse of a parent? I am reeling in despair, what to do? How to do something fast and permanent? What is the solution? I go from thinking my children need two parents, to asking myself do they deserve to be brow beaten by a mother who has little to offer as a mother? Tell me legal system when will you finally do the right thing?

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